remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
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