So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
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