kristin has been a bad kristin
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
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