i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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