No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
