I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
How's work?
Spinning.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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