I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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