Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
