If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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