I got chris browned last night
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
