Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
