so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
