if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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