His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
