you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Randomize
