Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Randomize
