i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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