Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
