Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Randomize
