Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
