I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
He told me they were just razor bumps!
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
