Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
