do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize