Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
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After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
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I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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