his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
