I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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