he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
