You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Randomize
