If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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