It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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