I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize