Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
how drunk are you?
Several
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
