Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize