as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Randomize
