If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Randomize
