it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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