i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Girls should come with a carfax report
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
