just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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