Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
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