she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
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