nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
