so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
