Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
