Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Randomize