Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
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