11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
