So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Randomize
