So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
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