I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
she pinky promised me she was 18
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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