i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Randomize
