Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
