Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Randomize
