I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
