He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
