Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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