Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize
