9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
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