my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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