so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
