I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
