um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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