Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Randomize
