so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
