I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
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