so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
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