ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize
