I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
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