your room smells of hookers.
And success
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize
